wtf?!!

OK. I can't live another day without embarrassing myself. PPfffffttt


Here's what happened yesterday.


I was heading to MNG The Hills (coz they are having a SALE up to 50%, so I must must go in even if I'm not gonna buy any of the dresses coz I know it won't fit me COZ I'm fat and all...) and suddenly their alarm / sensor goes TINIT TINIT TINNNNIIIITTTTT.


Mada faka, I thought to myself. WTF?


Coz I was shocked, so I went back and forth in front of MNG and the alarm won't fecking go off.


"What de...", I said to myself.


Tired of the annoying sound, the sales associate approached me and CHECK MY BAG. They found nothing (coz I'm not a thief lah! Obvious kannnn). So they started to speculate. "Maybe she's using MNG wallet", says one of the store associate. And her friend whose checking my bag said, "nope, no MNGs in here". And one of them stated that maybe it's my notebook. Checked, found nothing.


They just let me in. And after all that had happened, op koz laaa I'm no longer in a mood to even browse the dresses and baju bajan. Mood saya lari sudah. So, off to Parkson coz I wanna look for something.


As I entered Parkson, AGAIN the alarm / sensor went TIIIINNNIIIIT TIIINNNNIIITTT TIIINNNIIITTT.


"What d hell", I told myself.


So, the guard ushered me to the counter. Again my bag was checked. They knew I just enter the premise so they knew I did not steal anything (memang I sik steal anything juak pun). At that point, everyone were looking at me as if I steal something from the department. Maicibai lahhh. The guard took my bag and scanned it, no sound. So he asked me to go through the scanner. Bunyi lagik. Dah lah koat gik ya. I don't know what the hell is happening to me. Sampei at one point I thought, "maybe it's a magnetic force, badan aku dah ada element kah?"


Dah lah masa aku kenak ya ada pondan, melatah la pulak. Alu madah,"aihhh sapa curi tok?"


Sakit jiwa ku. Panas ati ku. The salesgirls asked if I was from Guardian or Watsons coz maybe there's a barcode sticking at my lipstick or anything. And.. to my surprise, my mini cosmetic bag was at the office. Forgot to bring it back. Nothing was in my back except my notebook. They suspected my notebook is the source of the problem. Checked, found nothing. WTF lahhh!!!~


They suspected that there's a bar code sticking at my baju or trousers. I denied it coz I KNOW LAH MY BAJU AND TROUSER. SUDAH BELI, CUCI AND ALL, how come ada bar code?? The guard asked me to leave the premise altho he knew that I steal nothing but he afraid if I were to proceed (and buy something) and exited using another entrance, the same problem would occur. OK FINE!!! AKU CIAO LAH. EMPTY HANDED. SAKIT ATI EHHH.


So, aku dah sekda mood. Balit rumah aku checked seluar ngan baju aku. Nei tauk ada terlekat kah apa bar code from other places. Aieeee.. sekda punnnn. And I checked my trousers. TENG TENG TENGGGGGGG.......rupa-rupanyaaaa...

Seluar punca segala masalah!!! Gerammm. Ngakuk ku meli sloar rah kedei factory jak. Kamek seorang cheapskate bah!

Bila dah meli sloar baru, check dolok isik dalam nya. Lahanat benda tok punca sensor berbunyi.

Paduhallllllllll, ada bar code dalam ya. Siap berjahit gik. Maok digunting dolok dan buang. Nei lah aku tauk. Selalu, belo sloar, cuci, kerin, pakei lah pasya nak? Sikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...sikkkkkk bukan ya yang terjadi ngan aku. Aku sik nanggar, aku sik tauk benda ya wujud dan akhirnya, bar code ya trigger sensor rah kedei. Mada faka nar. Nasib sekda laki hensem ehhh. Mun ada laki hensem tek macam nei? Dah lah muka ku jaik, merik malu dirik gik ya. Mada fakaaaa!!~

Remove Before Wearing or Washing. 

Aku nei tauk. Maok gunting lok part ya dalam seluar pasyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baruk pakei. Aku tauk, potong kaki, tikam lam bakol, pasya masok washing machine lah. Tok wadehel???

Punca masalah. Ditemu lepas ku gunting. Mah gawd!!!!

Ya lah bar code penyebab aku mendapat malu macam apa rah MNG ngan Parkson. Adehhhh. Sigek jak ku bersyukur sebab CRUSH KU SEKDA BERDEKATAN. Mun nya ada nak kah tiap kali nya nanggar aku nya ingat aku tok ada magnetic force pasya. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~ Lariiiik.


K dah. Malas ku. Bagus ku berdoa suapay crush ku suka ngan aku balit. AHAHAHAH Keep on dreaminggg laaa =P

Limbang and ATR

Just pics.

And clouds on d way to Miri is superb. It's been awhile since I travel with MAS. Love d traditional musics that they are playing and not to forget, ahem a good looking FA to greet you at d plane entrance eheeeem uhuk uhuk. Ahaha

Oh, this is my first trip to Limbang via air. Kesian kan? Before it was via land, which was superb too coz I passed all over Sarawak except Kapit, Mukah and Sibu. No, I don't forget Lawas. I've been there too and d other side of Brunei which is not that developing yet. It was 2 years ago. Things change OK. Anyway, upon landing at Limbang Airport, they played Somebody That I Used To Know (I don't know d title of d song, I just assume). Now I kept singing the song to myself whenever I'm alone (which means almost every time).

On another note, I can't stand an hour flight with ATR. Ain't comfy at all but I love answering their survey just to kill the time. They are using iPod Touch to store all d questions. You just have to swipe and answer away! Very advanced okay!

View from my room. Level 7, Purnama Hotel. The last time I stayed here, my room was facing the river.

Where the plane land.

Clouds. On the way to Miri.

Limbang in the morning. It's 6:15am and it's super bright! See the fog at the farthest bukit?

I don't remember what time was it. Same view layyy

ATR.

Another clouds. On the way to Miri.

Limbang Airport. All of it. Trust ME. The farther end is the Arrival Hall.

Customer Digital Survey. Oh, they served Milo (box one lah) for this trip. Hehehe

Check IN counter. That's just IT OK.

5 April 2012 - Dasenai Tegami to ....

Dearest YOU


I was sitting at the lobby on that old rattan couch munching buah potong stressing over my #firstworldproblems  and suddenly you came out from the elevator with your batik shirt looking all smart and sweet. That was the first day I saw you. It was April 5th.


I was of course too damn busy to notice you coming in and out from the building. Turned out you are just transferred from another department. Later that evening, I need to transfer all roadshow materials to bcck and you walked pass us and I nonchalantly asked my colleague about you. You are new, that was what he told me.


Days passed by and the hope to "accidentally" bumping into you is always on my mind. I started planning cheeky strategies, but when you are around you make me laugh so hard that I couldn't help myself. And tes, you are not even talking, you were just standing or walking pass me. Maybe you think that I'm crazy or something. Yeahhh, crazy siao siao. Looking at you makes me wanna laugh, thank god I don't pee in my pants. It would be very embarrassing kan?


You look dashing with your office attires. I feel like saying hi whenever I see you but I realize you are way out of my league. Saying hi will not cut it. I don't like you, like you, but when I see you or your car, I'm happy. I can't wait for clock to turn 1pm so I can see you or going home a lil late than usual because I knew I will be able to see you. Crazy kan? But hey, no harm done. All is good. Hahahah


Anyway, I would be very devastated if you are taken (I hope you got no girlfriend). For now, I will continue living in my own fantasyland where you are my boyfriend and we are planning to get married soon. Hahaha. Oh, and you are about to convert to Islam (which will not happen, I guess). Yes, I'm a Muslim and you are Sepet. Our path are not align.


I hope I can talk to you someday. hahahha



Hugs,

That siao siao lady who always waiting for you at the elevator lobby.

So..

It's no secret I always break my own promises. Such promises are; I wanna keep my hair long so I can perm it later (epic fail coz I just chop it off last week), I wanna lessen the intakes of fattening food (and yet I went to KFC for lunch, McD for dinner, ice cream for pleasure), try not to curse that old hog so much (and I kept on cursing him so that he die soon) and not to think of someone ANYMORE and I ended up thinking about that particular person every single time when I'm alone. And yeah, try not to sumpah Melayu so much and I actually sumpah them even more (I'm a Malay, FYI, but I prefer to sumpah my own kulit, so what? They deserve it anyway).


So..where that lead me? Oh and that one time I said I lost my interest in men (which lasted only a week) and then, come that not-so-cute Apek (but boleh tahan SMART lah) who *aherm* a PTD *aherm* (which I did not expect at all) working at the same building as mine. Since I have no lady-like quality, it's gonna be Oh-I-See-You situation and I-accidentally-bump-into-you thingy. To have someone so lihai to fall for a kuli keng like moi is an impossible mission (furthermore tidak sama kulit), so now I should sulk at the corner of my office and put on my thinking cap on how to create awareness (ya lor, to get him to notice the not-that-cute lady who work at Level 5 (that's me lor).



Anyway, I'm still struggling to get that damn iPhone 4s. Kejam betul dunia. Checked my balance in my saving account, it's only RM20. How to buy iPhone like that? I wanna strangle someone now. Oh god, please let me hempas that old hog now. Iskkhhhssszzzzz.


On a happier note, am gonna start my swimming lesson and my instructor is none other than my colleague. Walaupun opis sebelah swimming pool, harus pegi ke gamen pun pool sebab murah. Wakakakakaka. This, I promise you is going to be a hard thing to master. Macam ping pong lain cerita, you ping and you pong the bat, habesh.


I need a minions macam dalam Despicable Me. And.. that NERF Gun so that I can shoot that old hog because he's so tulan-ciao (reaad fast fast!).


Lunch hour habesh suda. Imma leave you with my army of minions!!

My iPod wallpaper. Rasa nak picit-picit jak eh.

it's a losing battle

wrote an entire post of how much i hate the rain and accidentally erased it because I GOT HIGH.


it's drizzling now and from the look of it (or rather, i look up and see the sky), it ain't pretty. it's gonna be raining cats and dogs in let's say 2 hours time?


back to the topic. i was driving yesterday and suddenly i realized i lost interest in men (no! i'm not a lesbian). macam if a cute guy pass by, i just look and that's it. no more "gosh-he's-so-cute-imma-marry-him" sensation. macam in a meeting, there's a decent looking engineer ka apa, macam haram no mood ok. don't even bother to look juak. i wish it's food that i lost my interest in. why la like that?


lepas yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, i read Dear John. habis dah. part nya begerek sik ku duli gilak. part John jaga bapak nya bila bapak  nya sakit terok pasya sik lamak, lalu ninggal nang sedeh lah. pasya bila nya balit carik Savannah just to find out that she's married, kesian lahhh. nya lalu single sampei bila-bila. aku maok juak orang molah ku macam ya. ahahha. mun dah nikah, gik ingat ngan aku sebab aku tok one true love nya. nya lah ya. can ah? it's just book. not gonna happen in real life ok. real life sucks.


pasya this morning and many many mornings ago, lam radio mala jak klaka hal relationship. why ah? why? i know relationship is a good topic, something interesting even but what about people who are not in a relationship like me? or many others who are single? who does not believe in the "power" of love? how laaaa? it's annoying OK. i want out. so, i put on my cd, and then cilaka the cd got Sampai Syurga.mp3 in it. Took another cd, pressed play and all the sappy songs started to blared out from the stereo. Why lah i have all the sedeh2 songs? Oh i remember now, it wasnt sedeh when i got the cd and now it's just tearing me apart OK.


On another note, my mucus is still green. not good. not good at all! and almost the whole office kena flu bug or whatever bugs that's kena-ing us, it kena us good lah.


And i dreamt that my handphone hilang coz i left it somewhere. i cant afford to lose my phone now coz I CANT FREAKIN AFFORD TO BUY AN IPHONE as a new phone. Hilang also no use, cant get iphone maaaaaaaaaa. i wish i got no car, at least i can buy the damn phone lah!! or i go apply for credit card. then i go celcom get the damn phone and yaaaayyy!! mission accomplished. if life is that easy. later have to pay oso! cilaka. save money later something happen need to withdraw money. cilaka!! i need iphone demmit! OK..calm down. oohhhmmmm... this is not me talking, this is my sub-conscious punya crap maok iphone. fuhhhh


OK lah, moving on to a more realistic dream. My shoes almost died on me (nazak sudah) and i'm super broke now thinking about it (so hebat ah, think only can get broke). of course i wanted a GOOD SHOES that can last me 10 years (thinking about Hush Puppies, Clarks lah apa lah) but then, tidak mampu!!! i went lah to SOS (ye le, Kuching bah, the only place that got canggih super power shoes semua kat SOS) then i think maybe BATA cukup lah. not a manager, so dont bother lah. if i could, i wanna wear sneakers to work. IF I COULD LAH but I COULDNT. Booo!!!


OK. enough rambling. I want to have super power. Not my eyes so ngantok. Wish i can sleep, obat work your magic for tonight can?

Where do I begin? (#YOLO effect)

Regret.

Regrets.

YOLO stands for YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. Now you knowwww.

OK, back to the main reason of updating this blog (coz I have a lot on my mind).

Regret. Yes. R E G R E T.

I hate living. I hate my life but I'm scared of death. So, I will not kill myself coz it's stupid and embarrassing. I humiliated myself way too many times and that (suicide) is not one of them.

People kept telling me that I should be grateful with what I have/had. Yes, I am but if I'm not happy should I fake it so the others will be able to live their life? And my life has no worth/value to you issit?

Everyone have their ups and down and you are not welcome to "remind" me of how lucky I am because I am not. Lucky in my context are:

a) becoming a straight As student (yeah you worked hard and I studied too but still every time I answered the damn questions, all my answers were wrong! I wanna be an engineer (yes that's my "ambition", why I stayed and fucked my youth for 2 damn years in science stream?) damn it! Now I'm stuck wif Business Degree coz I suck at all these fucking calculation subjects. And wif business degree, I'm not that business minded. Arrrggghhh)

b) high spending power without even trying. (geddit?! Ambik and goooo to the counter and just pay w/out even bother to think about what will happen to me in the next 28 days until the next payday).

c) getting a second chance for PTD interview w/out having to go through the entire tedious process AGAIN (some people are fucking lucky coz they got called again for INTERVIEW only. Arghhh). you might say why PTD? just stick with what u do best lah, be a kuli. OK smarty pants, i only live once so I want the best for me. In this case to be a PTD coz of its perks. Why settle for less when you can go all the way to the top? But who am I kidding? It's not meant to be for me. I better not be alive lahhhh!

d) born with beauty and brain
I have none!

That is all for now.

Work is stressing me out! Again!

No, it's not work. It's PEOPLE stresses me OUT.

Sent from my iPod

I just want to talk...OK?!

Tadik aku masok Sarawak Plaza (SP), pasya alu kuar lagu This I Promise You. Sangat nostalgic OK. Rasa nak balit zaman 2001 macam ya, zaman aku gik kurus.Sebab cun di Lea Centre ya ada cermin, down ku nanggar dirik ku. Dan aku berkata kepada diriku,


"Damn! When did I become so damn ugly?" Where did this belly comes from? "


Stress gila OK. Eh, tok video clip This I promise You sebelom aku lupak. 11 tahun yang lalu, aku dah sik ingat gnei rupa video clip nya. Nasib ada You Tube.





Lepas ya, aku tuurn ke Everise. Sik ku tauk pa ku carik. Oh yes, eskrem koneto. Nemu lah apek ala-ala nok kedak nunggu tren rah Mid Valley. OK lah, daripada sekda nak ku tanggar. Pasyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aku down, cibai lah perut boroi tok, kedak org prego 5 bulan, ngan sakit rahang ntah apa2 ntah, nyruuh ku emo nak nangis jak. MAcam worthless jak idup. Erghhh!! Bila down, aku nak makan agik. Celaka sik? Balit rumah aku makan macam apa jak. Ishhhh.


So, kinek tok aku down. PErut masih boroi. Bila pakei baju, nampak hodoh. Kacak nei pun baju ya, aku akan jadi hodoh juak bila makei. Aku sik lah mintak puji, aku maok aku suka nanggar dirik ku. Aku sik maok nak ngelak cermin atau apa2 jak reflection dirik ku sebab mata ku sakit nanggar dirik ku OK.


Dah, emo post gotta end here. Sekda orang sedap mata memandang ritok. Eeeeee!!~

so many things, empty pocket, too much time, so many annoying people

First off, I want this watch. I want it so bad I don care if you tell me it's not fakkin worth it. Saya mahu!!

New Gent Lacquered (www.swatch.com)

I want it in white. Sik maok kuning, walaupun sebenarnya kunin ya kacak juak. Dah dahhh!!


It's payday and I'm already broke. Ohhhh mengapa?? Macam cibai lahhh hidup tok. Pasya cerita CUEPECS gik. Ingat nyawa nya jak, nyawa kamek orang keja kompeni tok sik pikir kah? Eeeeee. Bukan nya kamek orang tok rami keja MNC (gaji ribu riban dapat meli baju mahal2) di Kuching tok. Nak ikat perut pun sik mampu sebab sik pat nak diikat agik. Klak aku coba makan batu, dapat kah sik, sik ku tauk. Nait gaji sidak keja gamen, mampuslah orang keja kompeni kedak kamek orang tok. Harus lah aku sik makan, pasya jadi tai tai, body kacak, jadi model. Yahhh!! Verangan kooooh.


Macam orang lain dapat ikat perut bejimat kumpol duit, pasya meli segala iphone lah, perfume lah. Aku dah tryyyyyyyyyy, pasya ada jak agenda yang memerlukan duit. Cibai lah. Kali mun aku sekda kereta, boleh ku ber-iphone. Mun aku bayar bulan ajak tapi sik payah meli minyak, boleh kali. Atau mun opis ku belakang rumah bok minyak ku jimat.



Pasya, orang nok mean (jaik bukan mean mean) ngan aku, nak nikah.Adalah duak tiga orang. Aku nok kiut dari segi size sekda orang maok kah? Wakakakakak Sik adalah. Sik perlu!!! Aku maok orang sweet, caring sensitive to my needs, sik perlulah rupa kedak Lee Hom atau Hawick Lau, janji bait - eksen jer tuh, mun macam nya 2 ya, mek sudi nak jadi gerek kitak kohhhh. Sanggup mek blaja kantonis dan mendalamkan ilmu huayu kohhh (celakars, banyak juak demand ko tek? Ko ingat ko kacak? Ko ya PHD? Ko ya genius? Ko ya golongan pandei sekolah? CGPA ciput jer, jangan berangan, FOREVER ALONE cukup!) Aihhhh. Aku tok sik bait, tapi entah lahhhhhhhh. Eeeeeeeeeeee. Mun nanggar kondisi kewangan aku tok nei mampu nak nikah. Jangan kata nak nikah, nak begerek pun sik mampu. Hadiah, sms, emosi terganggu. Semua ada. Emosi is a part of expenses too you know. Mun terganggu, harus ngeluar duit, polah retail therapy. Kimak lah semua ini.


Gigi ku sakit. Dentist madah gigi sensitive. Maiyama mahal ada jak filling nya. Celakars alu setengah medical ku aben. Ahhhh. Jangan jak sakit mahal macam cibai tok. Pasya masih sakit. Dalam sakit sakit lah ku ngerepak tok.


Apa gik lam palak ku tok? Aok, PTPTN. Mun ku tauk bagus ku iboh minjam. Biar aku sik mampu beli buku text, janji aku sik berutang macam tok. Lain lah mun aku tek blaja oversea, uni nok kaw kaw kaw. Nak kah duit k mayar ya aku dapat simpan, k meli iphone. Dolok sik maok blaja mena, sak dpt sekolarsip, sik payah bayar balit.

Aok. Aku maok iPhone 4s juak. Raget tek nakkk. (apple store malaysia)

Sikkkkkk, tauk bodo maok juak masok university. Sak pasya bila molah keja group, orang sik maok dengar ko pun suggestions (sebab ko bukan miak DL, ko sik ngapal text book time exam, ko tido jak, tapi lecturer mala madah ko dapat high score - part last ya menar aieee, untuk setengah2 subject jak lah) walaupun bestfriend kau masa diploma adalah best student dip in banking, orang anggap ko bodo juak sebab best student bukan kau. Aihhh, makin panjanggggggggggg ngerepaks.


Pasya, masa degree ko cayak juak mun lekcerer ya madah, dengar ajak nya ngajar, konfem dapat jawap soalan final. Aih, nya bukan madah dpt A, madah pat jawap ajak. Maka aku tauk, mun aku ngapal buku teks konfem aku akan jadi miak Anugerah diRaja / Anugerah Galaksi / Anugerah Queen Elizabeth segala (betapa shallow nya otak, sik pat nerimak jawapn kreatif inovatif student macam aku - sak jak mala madah think outside the box tapi jawapan masih lam dinding buku text. what de fuck ? )


OK apa gik? Aok, aku takut mati koh. Dolok maok juak ku nak mati (iman sik koat gik mudak konon) sebab aku rasa aku loser (kinek tok sama juak loser) sekda makna nak idup. Sampei aku takut nak jogging sebab takut datang ampus lekak berekot (mun aku sorang lah, mun ngan kawan, konfem ku bejalan jak) lalu koma pasya lalu mampus (sik sempat bertaubat, sik sempat nak merasa makei tudung kacak, sik sempat nak rasa kacak makei tudung). Aaaaa. Pasya mukak niuspaper mala jak nangga hal mati umor2 kedak aku tok. Bukak fb ada gik miak umor aku ninggal. Aihhh, aku lom cukup amalan nak diembak mati aihh. Eeee mek takut. SApa madah nya berani mati, nang aku salute kauuu.

www.scarfsweethoney.com

Percayalah, mun aku makei tudung, ala-ala macam tok rupa aku. Btw, tudung tok kacak. Mun nak turning a new leaf tok, maok beli baju baru gik, nukar isik baju gik, nak improvise baju kinek tok klak rupa kedak miak tadika kelakkkkkkkkk.


Aaaaa.. gigi ku sakit. Eeeeee. Oh, aku polah pact ngan kawan ku, mun ada non muslim single klak ku pas ngan nya, klak mun ada cina maok convert, nya pas ngan aku. Ekekekeke..


Kedong aku tek maok legacy sepet diteruskan lam family. Aku maok anak ku putih, walaupun muka jaik tapi kulit licin sebab nya nurun mak ku suka makan oren / limo. Aihh melelat. OK. Sakit gigi maka dah tampong. Choi!!! Tido lok. Esok nak ke perodua ngembak gerek ku kaler medallion grey ya sebis. Choi!!! Ngabis duit jak ehhh!! Choiii!!!

Every single day...this came to mind...

“The reason I called is to tell you how I feel about you. I know we didn’t work out the first time and I know it doesn’t make any sense but I can’t shake this feeling that we belong together. Is there any part of you that wants to try again?” 

How I Met Your Mother, Season 7, Episode 1, 2012 (Barney / Robin)

"Do you realize there are only two options for our future together? It's either we break up or get married." (Strangers Again, Wong Fu Productions, 2011)

And most of my acquaintances are opting for the latter. and my option is to attend the reception or tuck away in a corner of the house and cry. IDK. I'm just tired with work I guess. Not that I'm super duper busy, I'm tired with PEOPLE who work so damn hard to make other suffers at work. That leads to my current state of mind - super emo. and looking at happy couples makes my emo-meter raise to the highest level. Ahhhhh!!!

"I think, that if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, we’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time, and I’ll be thankful for that, and hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too, and I think that’s the best we can wish for"

Josh (Strangers Again, 2011) 

FOREVER A LOAN (pun intended ;P) Ryan Higa you are a genius!! ahaks