it's a losing battle

wrote an entire post of how much i hate the rain and accidentally erased it because I GOT HIGH.


it's drizzling now and from the look of it (or rather, i look up and see the sky), it ain't pretty. it's gonna be raining cats and dogs in let's say 2 hours time?


back to the topic. i was driving yesterday and suddenly i realized i lost interest in men (no! i'm not a lesbian). macam if a cute guy pass by, i just look and that's it. no more "gosh-he's-so-cute-imma-marry-him" sensation. macam in a meeting, there's a decent looking engineer ka apa, macam haram no mood ok. don't even bother to look juak. i wish it's food that i lost my interest in. why la like that?


lepas yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, i read Dear John. habis dah. part nya begerek sik ku duli gilak. part John jaga bapak nya bila bapak  nya sakit terok pasya sik lamak, lalu ninggal nang sedeh lah. pasya bila nya balit carik Savannah just to find out that she's married, kesian lahhh. nya lalu single sampei bila-bila. aku maok juak orang molah ku macam ya. ahahha. mun dah nikah, gik ingat ngan aku sebab aku tok one true love nya. nya lah ya. can ah? it's just book. not gonna happen in real life ok. real life sucks.


pasya this morning and many many mornings ago, lam radio mala jak klaka hal relationship. why ah? why? i know relationship is a good topic, something interesting even but what about people who are not in a relationship like me? or many others who are single? who does not believe in the "power" of love? how laaaa? it's annoying OK. i want out. so, i put on my cd, and then cilaka the cd got Sampai Syurga.mp3 in it. Took another cd, pressed play and all the sappy songs started to blared out from the stereo. Why lah i have all the sedeh2 songs? Oh i remember now, it wasnt sedeh when i got the cd and now it's just tearing me apart OK.


On another note, my mucus is still green. not good. not good at all! and almost the whole office kena flu bug or whatever bugs that's kena-ing us, it kena us good lah.


And i dreamt that my handphone hilang coz i left it somewhere. i cant afford to lose my phone now coz I CANT FREAKIN AFFORD TO BUY AN IPHONE as a new phone. Hilang also no use, cant get iphone maaaaaaaaaa. i wish i got no car, at least i can buy the damn phone lah!! or i go apply for credit card. then i go celcom get the damn phone and yaaaayyy!! mission accomplished. if life is that easy. later have to pay oso! cilaka. save money later something happen need to withdraw money. cilaka!! i need iphone demmit! OK..calm down. oohhhmmmm... this is not me talking, this is my sub-conscious punya crap maok iphone. fuhhhh


OK lah, moving on to a more realistic dream. My shoes almost died on me (nazak sudah) and i'm super broke now thinking about it (so hebat ah, think only can get broke). of course i wanted a GOOD SHOES that can last me 10 years (thinking about Hush Puppies, Clarks lah apa lah) but then, tidak mampu!!! i went lah to SOS (ye le, Kuching bah, the only place that got canggih super power shoes semua kat SOS) then i think maybe BATA cukup lah. not a manager, so dont bother lah. if i could, i wanna wear sneakers to work. IF I COULD LAH but I COULDNT. Booo!!!


OK. enough rambling. I want to have super power. Not my eyes so ngantok. Wish i can sleep, obat work your magic for tonight can?